Counsels from Contemporary Romanian Elders
To Laypeople, Monastics, and Clergy
I. Interview with Elder Cleopas Ilie of Sihastria Monastery
The still-living Elder Cleopas Ilie of
Sihastria Monastery, who was featured
in The Orthodox Word no. 155, is known throughout the Orthodox world for his
spiritual and theological writings and enormous pastoral activity. He was spiritually
formed in Sihastria Monastery under Abbot Ioanichie Moroi, who was one of the
main transmitters of the spiritual principles of St. Paisius Velichkovsky in
the 20th century. Fr. Cleopas was elected abbot of Sihastria in 1945; but later,
after being severely beaten and threatened by Communist henchmen, he withdrew
into the wilderness and lived as a hermit for ten years. After he returned to
Sihastria he began his ceaseless labors of spiritual fatherhood and public instruction,
both by word and writing, which he continued openly through the years of Communist
repression. So great were his fame abroad and the peoples’ love for him
that the atheist authorities dared not bother him again.
Elder Cleopas is known as a loving but very strict elder. His amazingly thorough
knowledge of Scripture, the Holy Fathers, and canon law was largely self-acquired:
during the ten years that he pastured the sheep of Sihastria as a young monk,
he used to walk to Neam¸t Monastery to borrow books from their large library,
which he read as he watched the flocks. His learning and God-given power of
speech stood the Orthodox faithful in good stead two years ago when a group
of Protestants from the West rented a stadium in Suceava and challenged any
representative of Orthodoxy to a public debate. Elder Cleopas accepted the challenge
and thoroughly defeated the Protestants.
The following questions and answers are extracted from the forthcoming book
in English, Spiritual Conversations with Romanian Elders, by Fr. Ioanichie Balan,
a well-known author and preacher in Romania and a spiritual son of Elder Cleopas.
1. MONASTIC BEGINNINGS
—Father Cleopas, when did you come to the monastery?
My parents had ten children, of which five, four boys and one girl, went to
monasteries. My oldest brother, named Michael, lived in asceticism on Mount
Ceahlau. My sister Catherine became a nun in the monastery of Old Agapia,
while I and my two older brothers, Basil and George, came to Sihastria. By 1935
all my brothers had died, and afterwards my father, Alexander, also died. Only
I still lived, as abbot then of Sihastria Monastery, and my mother in her home,
in the village of Suli¸ta-Boto¸sani. In 1946 I brought my mother
to Sihastria. There I tonsured her a nun and sent her to Old Agapia, where she
lived until 1968 and went to the Lord at the age of 92.
My coming to the monastery was as follows: On December 12, 1929, the memory
day of the holy Hierarch Spyridon, when I was 17 years old, I left my parents’
home with my older brother Basil, with our satchels on our backs. In one we
had the lives of the Saints, the Psalter, the Horologion, and the Holy Scriptures,
while in the other we had two large painted icons, one of the Theotokos and
the other of St. George. We took nothing else from the house. Our parents, Alexander
and Anna, accompanied us weeping as far as below the plain, to the area called
the “Cattle Ravine.” Then my brother Basil began to sing the kontakion
of the Akathist to our Savior Jesus Christ: “Sweetest Jesus, Light of the
world, enlighten the eyes of my soul....” Then we kissed our parents’
hands, received their blessing, and departed for the skete of Cozancea. At that
point our parents fell down and wept.... At Cozancea we stayed one night with
Fr. Paisius. Then we took also our brother George and the three of us came to
Suceava, venerated the relics of St. John the New, and went down to Sihastria
Monastery. The abbot was Archimandrite Ioanichie Moroi. When he saw us, he kept
us three days and three nights outside the gate of the monastery, to test if
we had patience for the monastic life. Only at night did he let us sleep in
a cell. After three days of fasting, prayer, and trials, he called us to the
church, confessed us, gave us Communion of the Spotless Mysteries, and gave
us cells and obediences in the monastery. In this way we entered the monastic
life. Afterwards, in 1931 and 1933 my brothers died, and I remained alone. In
1937 I was tonsured a monk. I pastured the sheep of the monastery for ten years.
In the years 1942-1945 I was appointed to govern the monastery, since the Abbot
was sick. In January of 1945 I was ordained a priest and elected abbot of the
monastery of my repentance, in the place of my reposed Elder, Abbot Ioanichie.
2. COUNSELS ON PRAYER
—What is prayer, and what kinds of prayer exist, according to the Holy
Fathers?
Evagrius of Pontus says: ‘’Prayer is the converse of the mind with
God. Prayer is an offshoot of meekness and angerlessness.” “Prayer
is a fruit of joy and gratitude. It is the banishing of sadness and despair,’’
according to Evagrius of Pontus. And the Fathers say it is the union and joining
of man with God, the strength of the world, reconciliation with God, the mother
and daughter of tears. Prayer is the key of the kingdom of heaven, and according
to Theophan the Recluse, it is the ascent of the mind and thoughts to God. Prayer
has three degrees: first, spoken or read prayer, performed by the body; second,
prayer of the thoughts, or mental prayer; and third, prayer of the feelings,
or of the heart.
—Generally our people pray little, but with much humility. Can they hope
for salvation through their small quantity of prayer? And how should the sick
or those who can’t read pray?
Our Savior Jesus Christ said: When you pray, do not use vain repetition like
the gentiles, for they think they will be heard for their much speaking. Do
not be like them; for your Father knows what you need before you ask Him (Matt.
6:7-8). Then He taught us the ‘’Our Father.’’ Therefore,
our Savior Himself taught us brief prayer. Anyone who says short prayers, but
with humility and tender feeling, will be saved. Let us remember the holy elder
who prayed for forty years with the same prayer: “Lord, I as a man have
sinned; do Thou as God forgive me.”
—How can people fulfill the Apostle Paul’s command, “Pray without
ceasing?”
Anyone can pray without ceasing if he always walks before God with his mind
and heart. He can work with his hands while his mind and heart are raised to
God. The only thing I have to add is that the most important thing in spiritual
prayer is that our mind and heart are inseparable from God, regardless of what
time and place we are in. We must always be aware of the presence of God. “This
work applies to all kinds of prayer, and is considered an uninterrupted prayer,”
says St. Theophan the Recluse. This is the feeling and spiritual contemplation
of God that the blessed Prophet David had when he said: “I beheld the Lord
always before me, for He is at my right hand, that I might not be shaken...”
(Ps. 15:8). So we must understand that a faithful man’s life is a ceaseless
prayer if his mind is always with God.
—When we do good works, is that also a kind of prayer to God?
Yes, it is. The Apostle Paul tells us this when he says: Whatsoever ye do in
word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and
the Father by Him (Col. 3:17). Whenever one does a good deed for the glory of
God, or speaks for the benefit of others for the glory of God, he has the prayer
of works. Therefore St. Theodore the Studite, counselling his disciples, said
to them: “He who does good deeds and obeys with humility and without protest,
performs liturgy and priesthood” (Homily 4).
3. ADVICE TO LAYPEOPLE
—How should Christians stand in church during services, how should they
pray, and what duties do they have when they go to church?
Christians should stand in church with faith, fear of God, and attention. They
should force themselves as much as possible to pray without distraction and
with feeling of heart. Also, Christians have the following duties: to go regularly
to church, for whoever often misses the services, except for the sick, are barred
from the Holy Mysteries; to be reconciled with all men and to ask forgiveness
of anyone they have hurt; to preserve their purity at least two days before
going to church and at least one day after; to come early to the divine services
in order to have time to venerate in peace and hear Matins. Every Christian
should offer some gift to the Lord according to his ability, even if it is very
small, as a sacrifice from the work of his hands. They should give names for
commemoration, and ask the priest to take out parts [from the prosphora] for
the living and dead members of their families. Christians should stand in church
modestly and in good order, the men on the right and the women on the left.
They should wear clean and modest clothes, and women should have scarves on
their heads. It is forbidden to talk during services without great need. After
Divine Liturgy starts, everyone should remain in his place and not move about
to venerate the icons. They should follow the Liturgy with pious attention,
and listen to the prayers and singing of the choir, the Epistle and Gospel readings,
and the sermon. No one should leave the church before the end of the Liturgy
without great need. Those who have confessed and prepared for Holy Communion
should read the appropriate prayers before Communion in advance, and before
they approach the Holy Gifts they should ask forgiveness of all the faithful.
After the Liturgy, those who received Communion should read the prayers of thanksgiving,
spending that day in spiritual joy and guarding themselves from all temptations.
Parents should bring their children to church regularly, taking care that they
receive communion of the Body and Blood of Christ. After the end of the divine
services, Christians should reverently return to their homes, spending the rest
of the day thinking of holy things, reading spiritual books, and visiting the
sick. They are also obligated to tell those at home who didn’t come to
church about what they heard and learned in church from the troparia, readings,
and the sermon. These are the most important duties of Christians when they
go to church on Sundays and feast days.
—How should young people prepare for marriage?
The best preparation that young people can make for life and for marriage is
to grow in the fear and admonition of the Lord, as the elect vessel and mouth
of Christ, the Apostle Paul, teaches us. To begin with, they must know the teachings
of the Orthodox faith. They should learn by heart the Symbol of Faith (Creed),
and other necessary prayers. They should have good spiritual fathers, should
read the Holy Scriptures, especially the New Testament, and the Orthodox catechism
and other soul-profiting books. They also have the duty to live in virginity
until their church marriage, and to perform all kinds of good works according
to their ability, especially prayer, regular attendance in church, fasting,
almsgiving, purity of life, obedience to their parents, and confession, particularly
during the four great fasts of the year.
Here you see how every young person should prepare himself to walk rightly
in his life and marriage. We should remember that marriage is the oldest Sacrament
of the Church, which was established by God even in Paradise. It is the basis
of the family and the whole society. The strength of a family depends on its
respect for the moral principles of the church. They should begin preparing
themselves for family life from their childhood. Their priest, godparents, and
parents have the largest place in their lives, and the greatest responsibility.
The parents of the two young people must consent to their children’s marriage,
for otherwise it will not be a happy marriage. Also, St. Basil the Great imposes
the same penance as for fornication on children who marry without their parents’
permission—namely, separation from Holy Communion for three years, or until
their reconciliation with their parents. The two young people must also love
each other and want to marry, for if they are joined together against their
will, under compulsion from their parents or for material gain, such a marriage
will not last.
The betrothal should be performed by a priest. The betrothed should live with
their parents and preserve holy virginity until their marriage in church. A
week or two before the church marriage, they should go to confession to their
spiritual father or village priest, with fasting and prayer, and, if they have
permission, prepare for Holy Communion. According to tradition, the marriage
should be performed on Sunday morning before Divine Liturgy. The sponsors should
be good Christians, capable of teaching and guiding their spiritual children
on the good path. After the sacrament the two young people stand with crowns
on their heads in the middle of the church, surrounded by the faithful, until
the end of the service, and the priest begins Divine Liturgy and all present
pray together for the newlyweds. The latter must say the Creed and the “Our
Father.” When the priest says, “With fear of God, faith, and love,
draw near,” then the two young people approach the Holy Chalice and receive
the Body and Blood of Christ, if they have their spiritual father’s permission.
According to the old Orthodox tradition, after the end of Divine Liturgy the
newlyweds go to their home together with the priest, the choir, and all the
people. There they eat and make merry with sobriety and good order, to the glory
of God, as is fitting for Christians. If the two newlyweds received Communion,
they should preserve their purity until the evening of the following day, in
honor of the Holy Mysteries.
This is the proper conduct of those who marry, according to the order laid
down by the Holy Fathers of the Orthodox Church. But alas, in our days most
Christians violate this order, to their punishment, because of our sins. Those
who fulfill the Christian laws of marriage will receive God’s blessing
and lead a quiet family life, advancing in everything; while those who violate
this order will pass their lives with many temptations. According to the Church’s
law, marriages cannot be performed on Saturday evening. Many get married for
the sake of gain, to acquire gifts and large sums of money, changing the sacrament
of marriage, ordained by God in Paradise, into an occasion for fornication,
scandal, and loss of souls. Young people also commit a great sin when they are
married in church only in the eyes of the world and for bodily enjoyment, and
not for the sake of having children, and when they have the wedding and party
during Holy Lent, when weddings are forbidden.
—Another man asked Fr. Cleopas: “Father Cleopas, can a virtuous Christian
save his family and his village by the holiness of his life?”
How can he not? The more virtuous Christians there are in the world, in a country,
in a community, the more that country or community will be preserved from dangers,
wars, disturbances, famines, and all kinds of evil. On the other hand, the fewer
elect of God there are, the more severe will be God’s chastising blow.
Someone asked a certain Saint: ‘’Can one man save a city?’’
‘’He can,’’ the Saint answered. ‘’The Prophet
King David is an example. Listen to what God said: For the sake of David My
servant, I will not abandon the city of Jerusalem.’’
—A visiting layman asked him: “Father Cleopas, I quarrelled with
someone and have asked his forgiveness many times, but he doesn’t want
to forgive me. What can I do to be reconciled with him?”
Do not say anything more to him, nor speak evil of him to others, but pray
to God for him and forgive him from your heart. In time the anger will be extinguished,
like a fire that is starved of wood.
—Someone asked him: ‘’What do you say, Fr. Cleopas, is it a
sin to smoke?’’
I haven’t seen written in the Holy Gospel, ‘’Do not smoke,’’
but I have seen written, ‘’Do not judge.” However, smoking is
a sin.
—By what law will all the peoples of the earth be judged?
St. Gregory of Nyssa says that men will be judged by four laws at Christ’s
terrible tribunal: 1. Those who lived from the time of Adam until the giving
of the law on Mount Sinai will be judged by Christ by the law of the conscience,
which is given to man at his birth, and which is called the natural moral law.
Through the conscience, which is the voice of God to man, everyone knows what
is good and what is bad. This is the law by which the world was governed until
the time of Moses. 2. The second law by which those who lived before Christ
and all who have never known of Christ will be judged is the law of the whole
creation, which is always before us and tells us that it was created miraculously
by an unseen Creator, God. ‘’The visible creation,’’ says
St. Basil the Great, ‘’is the school of rational souls, the unwritten
book of all mankind.’’ 3. The third law, by which the Hebrews alone
will be judged, is the written law of Moses, which was given to him on Mount
Sinai. 4. The fourth is the law of Grace, or of the Gospel, given to us by Christ,
by which all Christians will be judged. One who renounces his Christian baptism
becomes an apostate, and at the Last Judgment he will be punished more severely
than a pagan who did not know Christ.
4. ADVICE TO MONKS
—One day a monk of Neam¸t asked Fr. Cleopas: “What should I
do to be saved?”
Father Chariton, do these three things and by the Grace of Christ you will
be saved: Never leave your prayer-rule unfulfilled; get up at midnight and pray,
afterwards participating also in the service of Matins; and until your death
abstain from eating meat and from judging.
—Another of his spiritual children said: “Father Cleopas, give me
a profitable word.’’
Listen, Father. The mother of all the virtues is prayer. If you occupy yourself
with other work during the time set for prayer, you will become a laughing-stock
of the demons. All the Saints were men of prayer throughout their lives. Your
first concern should be prayer—afterwards comes reading, writing, and handiwork.
Do not work during the time set apart for prayer. Only under obedience, with
a blessing, are you justified in leaving prayer, for obedience is higher than
prayer.
—Another brother asked him: “Father, tell me something about the
Kingdom of God.”
Listen, Brother. The Kingdom of God is not in words but in power, that is,
in good works.
—One monk, the guestmaster of a certain monastery, asked the Elder: “Father
Cleopas, tell me, how should we receive visitors to the monastery?”
Visitors come to us in the name of Christ. Therefore we must welcome them to
the monastery with love, refresh them, show them hospitality, and see them off
at their departure, because Christ comes to you with your brother. So through
them we have Christ with us. Here is the key to monastic and Christian hospitality.
—One of the Elder’s disciples asked him: “Father Cleopas, is
a monk obligated to give material alms?”
Why not? Every monk has the duty to give alms to the poor from whatever he
has—clothes, money, food. Even those who live in the desert have the duty
to open their door to the poor, to give them dry bread or just a cup of cold
water. Only one who lives completely isolated in the depths of the mountains
and is completely deprived of all earthly things is not required to give alms.
Haven’t we heard what St. Isaac the Syrian says, ‘A monk who does
not give alms is like the cursed and unfruitful tree....’ Especially today,
when monks have everything they need, they should give alms according to their
ability without being stingy, in order not to fall into the abyss of perdition.
Woe to monks who are stingy and do not show mercy to the poor, because great
punishment is prepared for them.
Father Cleopas added: “Fathers, when I was a brother in Sihastria Monastery,
no one locked their cells because no one had anything to steal. We received
everything we needed from the monastery. But see what the enemy once did to
incite me to the passion of love for money. In 1937, when I was the cook in
the monastery, a certain Christian came to me and said: ‘Father Cleopas,
look what a beautiful new coin they have minted.’ And he gave me one, too.
I took the coin to my cell, put it by the window under a piece of paper so that
no one could see it, and I locked the door. And while I worked in the kitchen
I was always running to my cell and looking under the paper by the window to
see if the coin was gone. One day, seeing that the enemy had attached my heart
to money, so that I kept my door locked and thought only about it, I made the
sign of the Cross, unlocked the door, and gave the coin to a pauper. So after
that I was delivered from love of money.”
—What kind of words are the most potent to benefit others?
The most powerful word for edifying others is practical—the example of
our lives. St. Isaac the Syrian says the same: “The speech of works is
one thing; beautiful words without deeds, another.” Afterwards he adds:
“Many words without works are like an artist who paints pictures of water
on the wall but is not able to quench his thirst.’’
—Which monks please God more: those who live in silence in the wilderness
with fasting and ceaseless prayer, or those who preach to others the word of
the Lord for their salvation?
The monk who struggles in the wilderness with great humility, silence, tears,
fasting, temperance, and renunciation of all the cares of the world, cleansing
his soul from the passions, is closer to God than one who preaches to others
the word of the Lord without having spiritual strength to perform the things
he teaches. St. Isaac the Syrian tells us: “I wouldn’t compare those
who work signs, wonders, and mighty acts in the world with those who live in
silence with spiritual intelligence. Love more the inactivity of silence than
to satisfy the hungry in the world or to return many nations to faith in God”
(Homily 23). Consequently, it is a greater and more profitable work to purify
oneself from the passions of body and soul in silence and submission, than to
teach others the will of God when one has not attained a proper spiritual age
for this. St. Gregory the Theologian says the following about this: “It
is good to theologize about God, but it is better to purify yourself from your
passions for the sake of God.” And St. Isaac the Syrian says: “It
is more profitable for you to strive to resurrect your fallen soul through moving
your thoughts towards divine things, than to resurrect the dead.” Then
the same Father adds: “Many have performed mighty acts, raised the dead,
labored to return those astray, and done great works ... but after these things
they themselves fell into unclean and filthy passions, killed themselves, and
became a scandal to many by their open deeds. For they were still sick in their
souls and did not take care to be healed, but they committed themselves to the
sea of the world to heal the souls of others while they themselves were sick,
losing thus their souls and their hope in God.”
—How can monks be saved more easily: in coenobitic or idiorrhythmic life?
St. Theodore the Studite says the following: “Monks in coenobitic monasteries
are saved by the thousands; in idiorrhythmic life, one in a thousand.’’
In coenobitic life there should be one mind, one thought, and one soul in all
the bodies, as St. Basil the Great says. While in idiorrhythmic life each one
does as he pleases. There is no one to govern him or to cut off his will; only
his conscience guides him and his confessor, if he goes to him for counsel.
In regard to this, I remember the words of our Elder and abbot of Sihastria,
Fr. Ioanichie Moroi, who often said: “Fathers and brothers, when the coenobitic
life is destroyed in the monasteries, then they will be deserted.” And
so it is; now the common life is destroyed almost everywhere.
5. ADVICE TO PRIESTS AND SPIRITUAL FATHERS
—How should a priest preach?
A priest must preach in three ways: By word, by pen, and by his life, says
St. John Chrysostom. With his mouth he has the duty to teach the faithful the
word of the Lord, dogmas, the canons and teachings of the Holy Fathers. With
his pen he should write down what he learns from the Holy Scriptures and the
Holy Fathers. And by his life he should show forth those things which he teaches,
according to his strength, paying attention to the word of the Lord which says:
Those who do and teach them will be called great in the kingdom of heaven (Matt.
5:19). And, Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good
works and glorify your Father who is in heaven (Matt. 5:16). The preaching a
priest performs with his life is the most powerful.
—What are a spiritual father’s duties towards his spiritual children,
and theirs towards him?
A spiritual father has great duties towards his spiritual children: to continually
oversee them, instruct them, and pray to God for their salvation. The spiritual
children have the duty to obey their spiritual teachers, to ask their counsel
and blessing for everything, to fulfill the rule given them, to struggle to
correct themselves, and to pray for their spiritual father.
—What is the most difficult of the seven Sacraments?
The Sacrament of confession. By this Sacrament one either saves a soul and
is saved oneself, or one destroys a soul and is destroyed oneself for eternity.
Nevertheless, by no other sacrament can one better win a soul for the Kingdom
of God than by Holy Confession. But so great are the responsibilities and the
dangers of a priest-confessor that St. John Chrysostom writes : “Few confessors
are saved.” And he also writes about the priesthood: “In the last
times only three priests in a thousand will be saved.” These words of the
Saint are fearful and terrible.
—What advice do you give to priests who confess many people?
The priest-confessor is very accountable for the position he occupies. He judges
in the Name and in the place of Christ. He cannot bind anyone in any way without
examination, nor can he loose just any sin whatever in any person. In order
not to err he must know very well the Sacred Canons, the tradition of the Church,
the liturgical life of the Church, the teachings of the Holy Fathers, and especially
Holy Scripture. Also, he must be firmly established in faith, have fear of God,
love for men, and a fatherly heart towards everyone. He must judge as carefully
and fairly as he can, impartially, keeping in mind each person’s nature,
age, social position, conduct, education, health, culture, degree of understanding
and obedience, and before all, his faith in and fear of God. He must confess
people with much diligence and attention, without haste, first listening to
what the people say and then asking questions, beginning with spiritual things—the
man’s nature, faith, prayer, church attendance—and then about human
and physical things. He should not go into detail in asking about sins, in order
not to scandalize people, especially the young, by indiscreet questions. He
should not show surprise or upbraid anyone for the sins he confesses, nor should
he ask who exactly he sinned with, and especially he must not tell anyone the
secrets he heard in confession. The Sacred Canons say that anyone who publishes
the secrets of confession must bind his tongue and resign from the priesthood
and the hearing of confessions.
—What can you tell us about general confessions, without individual confession
of sins, and without the reading of the prayer of absolution over the head of
each person, as is done in some places today?
Such confession is anti-canonical, it does not have the power of a Sacrament,
and the sins remain unabsolved. This practice should be completely abandoned,
so as not to abrogate the Sacrament of Holy Confession to the condemnation of
both priest and people.
—Now that we have reached the end of this spiritual conversation, I beg
you, Father Cleopas, give me personally some profitable advice.
Father Ioanichie, nothing is easier than to teach others, and nothing is harder
than to practice what one teaches. First of all, we must be aware that we grieve
God at every moment. Without this heartfelt humility we cannot be saved. That
is how I begin my confession. Afterwards, if you wish to be saved, fulfill these
three things, as St. Anthony the Great said: “Do not go often from one
monastery to another; have God always before your eyes; and whatever you want
to do, have testimony from the writings of the Holy Scriptures and the Holy
Fathers.” Another holy father said: “Have your cell as heaven, consider
the brethren as angels, seek to have peace, and you will be saved.” Thus
we also, Father Ioanichie, should treasure with love the teachings of the Holy
Fathers, the commandments of our Savior Jesus Christ, and by His Grace we can
hope to be saved and abide in eternal repose. Amen.
II. Interview with Elder Paisius Olaru of Sihla Skete
THE FAME of the recently reposed Elder Hieromonk Paisius (1897-1990) was spread
through all Moldavia, as is that of his disciple, Archimandrite Cleopas Ilie.
They both had the same zeal for Christ, for the protection of the Orthodox faith,
for prayer, fasting, love, silence. Through their ascetic lives and great personal
experience they attained to a spiritual stature rarely seen today. By their
holy lives, sermons, and wise counsel they refreshed Christians of all ranks
and ages who eagerly have recourse to their cells for a word of salvation. Fr.
Paisius was a father-confessor of the heart. He would begin first with prayer,
and then he heard the confession and gave fatherly advice from whatever words
sprang from his heart. He would weep when penitents confessed their sins, and
seeing him they were humbled and began to weep for their own sins. He rarely
spoke about hell; his consoling words more often dealt with the mercy of God
and the blessedness of the righteous. Thus he bade farewell to his spiritual
children with the words: “We will meet again at the door of Paradise!”
He is the father of forgiveness, love, and paradisal joy.
Like the preceding interview, the section that follows has been taken from
Spiritual Conversations with Romanian Elders by Fr. Ioanichie Balan.
1. EARLY REMINISCENCES
—Father Paisius, tell us something about your birthplace.
I was born in the village of Stroie¸sti in Boto¸sani County in
1897, and my parents were called John and Catherine. I was the youngest of the
five children in our home. My parents lived in peace throughout their whole
lives, and taught me to love Christ by taking me frequently to the divine services
in the church.
—What advice did your parents give you when you were a child?
They taught me mostly by their life, for they were simple people. I never heard
them quarreling or abusing each other. My father knew the Paraclesis to the
Mother of God by heart, as well as other prayers, and he prayed so loudly that
we also could hear him. He used to say like the priest, “Let us pray to
the Lord!” and he would weep and strike his chest with his fist. And my
mother was the friend of everyone, and she said to us many times, “My children,
be good, so as not to shame our honor!”
—Who drew you to the monastic life?
The lives of the saints urged me to monasticism, and my love for the Lord.
At first I went to the skete of Cozancea, after the war, in 1921. My spiritual
father was Fr. Callinicus ¸Su¸su, a great struggler and laborer
of prayer. He used to wake me up at midnight every night, saying to me, “Come
on, let’s go to church, because the harvest is great and the laborers are
few.” It’s true that it was a hardship for me to get up so early,
but when I went to church I often found him waiting for me in the exonarthex....
I had within me the desire to live in silence. I wanted to go to Sihastria
Monastery, where there was more silence, but the abbot then, Fr. Ioanichie [Moroi],
would not accept me without my abbot’s blessing. Therefore I stayed at
Cozancea, where with the blessing of my Elder I built a little house and a chapel
next to it in a meadow, where I struggled in silence and prayer, without abandoning
my obedience in the church. I lived there for eighteen years, until 1948, when
I came to Sihastria Monastery.
—Which were the most outstanding disciples you had when you lived in silence?
I had several, but the most advanced was the brother of Fr. Cleopas, named
George Ilie. I remember that he lived in a cell with another older brother who
didn’t know how to read. He was always silent, forcing himself in prayer
and fasting. Once, when they were praying together in the evening, Brother George
gave himself two slaps on the cheeks to drive away sleep. Then that elder was
frightened and ran away from prayer. He came to me agitated and said that George
had gone mad and they could not do their cell-rule together. I went and reconciled
them. The next day I was working in the vineyard with the brothers. In the evening
we sent the novice George to prepare the food. When we came, we found a sign
on the table on which he had written, “Forgive me, Father Paisius, I am
going into the forest for five days to weep for my sins.” We ate, said
our evening prayers, and went to bed. At midnight I heard someone knocking on
the door. “Who is it?” I asked. “Bless, Father Paisius, it’s
Brother George the sinner.” “Brother George went off into silence
for five days to repent!” I replied. Then he came into my cell, frightened
and exhausted. “What happened?” I asked him. And he said to me, “I
went to a hollow in the forest and decided to remain there for five days with
prayer and fasting. But when I was reading the evening service with the Akathist
to the Archangels, I heard a terrible voice: ‘What are you doing here?’
It was satan! Then I was scared and took the Horologion of the Church, and I
don’t know how I got here. Please forgive me, Father Paisius.’’
“May God forgive you, Brother George,” I answered. “This is what
happens to those who do any work without the blessing of their elder.”
After Brother George left for Sihastria Monastery, God sent me another good
disciple, also named George. He came from the village of Flam^inzi, was very
old, with a beard and white hair, and his whole life he had been a shepherd.
Our first meeting was on a winter evening, after Vespers. He appeared before
me outside the threshold of the church, barefoot and with a serene face. He
shook his feet to get the snow off. He stayed with me as a disciple for eight
years. All I have to say is that he surpassed me in everything, in fasting,
prayer, humility, and he never did anything without a blessing. He always remains
in my memory as a true hermit. He did not count his prostrations, and he prayed
almost the whole night long. Once he asked me: ‘’Father Paisius, about
how many prostrations should I make for one lei [about one cent], when someone
gives it to me and asks me to pray for him?’’ “About ten prostrations
are enough,” I said. “No, Father,” he said, “I make a hundred
prostrations for a lei....” I cannot remember and note down everything
that I saw and was profited by in the eight years I lived with this beloved
and saintly elder.
—What spiritual counsels did you give your disciples?
Before I became a priest and confessor, I didn’t counsel laymen much.
I used to urge those who came to me to pray much, to read the Psalter, make
prostrations, fast, be at peace with each other, and I would bring them to the
priest of the Skete for confession. And with my disciples, I was obliged to
instruct them more by deeds and less by words. When they saw me get up for prayer,
fast, be silent, and conduct myself towards them with meekness, they also were
constrained to do even greater things. After I was ordained, I was obliged to
try to benefit them by words, because my life did not correspond with my teachings.
But by the grace of Christ I strove to pacify everyone and send them back to
their cells calm.
—Since you loved to care for the sick, tell us something about the good
repose of certain monks or disciples of your holiness.
Yes, I loved to help the sick, not from love of God, but from human duty. If
I were to write about the good deaths of all the monks whom I took care of,
I would have to write a whole book. But I can give a few examples. I remember
one brother, named George Cosmanciuc, a great struggler. When he fell ill he
called me to his bed and asked me to tonsure him a monk. On the third day after
his tonsure, he received communion of the Spotless Mysteries, asked forgiveness
of all, and while in my arms gave up his soul into the hands of God. A certain
hierodeacon named Gerasim Vieru, when he became sick, asked me to read the Paraclesis
to the Theotokos. When I had come to the middle, he gave over his soul into
God’s embrace. Another hierodeacon, Nicon Draguleanu, a great laborer,
called me one day and told me to lock his cell and come again tomorrow at eight,
“so we can sing Alleluia with the angels.” When the next day came,
I was delayed by people and could not be at his cell at the appointed time.
I went at nine, but Fr. Nicon had just reposed, because his body was still warm.
I wept and lamented much that I had not come an hour earlier and sung Alleluia
with the angels! I also knew a wonderful elder, the monk Herman Conturachi,
who was almost ninety years old. He was a pure soul, and had been a shepherd
his whole life. He had a great devotion to St. Nicholas, and would pray to him
like this, “St. Nicholas, bear with me, a sinner. I am an old man and you
are an old man—have mercy on me!” I found him dead in his cell one
summer, and I brought him to the flower-filled church to the ringing of the
bells. Nor can I forget Monk Gennadius Avatamani¸tei,
who was my cell-attendant for eight years. Even though he was old, he made prostrations
next to my bed when I was sick, so that I might be made well and not die before
him. He said to me many times, “Fr. Paisius, in my whole life I have never
slept in a bed or taken medicines.” When the hour of his death drew near
he asked me to take him out of his cell. I left him on the grass facing the
east, and so he fell asleep on the bare earth as he had been accustomed to do
in his youth, as a shepherd. May God forgive them. Their humility and simplicity
remain indelible in my memory, for they were not educated men with many books,
but they fulfilled with piety those things they received from their predecessors—namely,
the cell-rule, church services, and handiwork. They were also, I believe, very
advanced in mental prayer.
—When did you come to Sihastria Monastery, Fr. Paisius, and what
was the fathers’ spiritual life like then?
I came to Sihastria in 1948. The abbot then was Fr. Cleopas. There was a true
coenobitic life then. I knew fathers who didn’t have anything in their
cells except a bed and a few books. Fr. Dometian, a virtuous old monk, was never
absent from the church services, and he always punctually began the midnight
service. Another humble monk, Fr. Christopher, who cared for the sick, at night
used to bring Fr. Michael, who was paralyzed, to church on his back. All the
brothers had to come to Matins. When they didn’t come, they didn’t
eat the next day. Everyone was grateful for the peace and quiet that reigned
in the holy monastery of Sihastria.
—Fr. Paisius, when did you move to Slatina Monastery, and what was the
spiritual life there like?
I moved to Slatina in the autumn of 1949 with a community of twenty-three brothers
from Sihastria, headed by Fr. Cleopas. I met spiritual monks there too, such
as Archimandrite Paisius Cosma. Before his death, Fr. Paisius called all the
fathers and was forgiven by all. I also came next to him and urged him to say
the Jesus Prayer. Then he answered me: “Fr. Paisius, I am a sinful man,
a great sinner, but I have never known any other God. I have supplicated Him
my whole life, and I believe that He will care for me!” And saying this,
he gave over his soul before us.
I also knew a holy monk whom I took under my mantia to be made a schemamonk,
Juvenal Birsan. He always read the Psalter, loved obedience and silence. He
was the ecclesiarch and kolyva-maker, and never made a mistake. He also loved
poverty and had nothing in his cell except two monastic garments, a small rug
for prostrations, and a Psalter, and he was always content. More brethren came
to Slatina at that time, and there was obedience and harmony among us. For what
on earth is more good and beautiful than love!
—You also lived for a while at Rarau Skete. What spiritual remembrances
do you have from there?
I lived for about one year in Rarau Skete, which was a dependency of
Slatina Monastery. Several monks struggled there, of which the most outstanding,
it seemed to me, was a blind monk named Nicodemus. He was strong in faith and
skilled in spiritual counsel. One time the abbot of the Skete asked me if I
had acquired mental prayer. I answered him that I had not heard anything about
it. Then he locked me in a small cell with the windows blocked up, and ordered
me to say the Jesus Prayer continually. I stayed closed in there for a week.
Afterwards he examined me to see if I had acquired the prayer. I replied that
I had not been able to become accustomed to it. When he heard that, he was upset
and said, “You are a small and empty vessel! Stay one more week in the
same cell to learn mental prayer.” I stayed there another week, and on
Saturday, when he came to ask me the same thing, in order not to upset him again
I told him that I had acquired the prayer. Then he was happy and ordered me
to teach it to others. But even now I have not gained the habit of mental prayer,
because I don’t have spiritual life and I don’t love God as I ought....
—What other profitable memories do you have from your time in rarau?
Once when I was going with my disciple to Rarau, we passed through a
village in the mountains called Slatioara. A woman came to me there and
told me that in a certain house there was an old woman who was not able to die
because she was at odds with one of her neighbors. I went to the house, called
the neighbor, read the prayer of absolution over them, reconciled them, and
when I left the house that woman gave up her soul in peace. Her soul was waiting
to be at peace with everyone, for without forgiveness we can’t be saved.
2. ON SPIRITUAL FATHERHOOD
—As a father-confessor in Sihastria Monastery for thirty years,
what do you have to tell us about that difficult obedience?
Spiritual fatherhood is the most difficult obedience in monastic life. On the
spiritual father depends the salvation or punishment of each soul entrusted
to him, the monastic tonsure of the brethren in the monastery, permission for
laymen and monks to receive Communion, as well as giving surety for the worthiness
of candidates for the priesthood. A spiritual father has a great responsibility,
and therefore it is much more difficult for him to be saved than for a monk
or layman. As the confessor of Sihastria Monastery I had many spiritual joys,
but also temptations and some disappointments. Most of the fathers and brothers
came to me for confession. The more zealous ones, which were the greater number,
took account of my blessing, confessed sincerely, and entrusted their souls
into the hands of the abbot and spiritual father. These gave me the most joy,
for I received them as my spiritual children. I comforted them, calmed them
down when there were temptations, and advised them to have greater love for
obedience, church services, silence, humility, and prayer in their cells. Some
of them, however, came rarely to confession, were slow to forgive others, grumbled
at their obediences, and were sometimes very dissatisfied. With them I had more
work to do. Much patience and skill was needed to gain them spiritually. Sometimes
I went to their cells. Sometimes I gave them an easier prayer-rule, encouraged
them, and I prayed for them very much. Some of them were benefited, while others
I at least kept from falling into worse things and leaving the monastery. But
how much I succeeded, how many I gained or lost, God alone knows. I only know
one thing, that I will have to answer for all those I confessed and counselled
before the judgment of Christ.
—Does it seem easier to you to be a spiritual father of laymen or of monks?
It’s harder to pastor monks and priests than laymen, because they have
given vows and have a great responsibility since they know the word of God and
the sacred canons, but still do not do their duties. That is to say, they sin
with their will and knowledge. Laymen have less responsibility, and many sin
from ignorance. Here is fulfilled the Gospel saying, “To whom much is given,
of him much will be required, and to whom little is given, of him little will
be required.”
—A priest-confessor asked the Elder for advice, and he said to him:
The most difficult work for a priest is Divine Liturgy and confession. Some
priests have been harmed and have even fallen because of confession. A spiritual
father should be a light for all and a vessel of the grace of the Holy Spirit.
If he has the Holy Spirit he will not be harmed by men’s weaknesses, because
he has divine grace upon him which can heal the souls of Christians. But if
he is passionate, the Holy Spirit does not work in him and he will easily be
injured when he hears men’s sins. Such a priest should not confess the
people. According to the canons, spiritual fatherhood is given only to those
who are old and tested in virtue. A spiritual father should be a light for all,
a father for all, a good counselor and skilled guide of souls. He should be
a true pastor, and not a hireling who serves the holy things for money and earthly
gain. He must be as a candle on a candlestand to enlighten all, and not under
a bed. The spiritual father, even if he is sometimes upset during confession
by the sins of men, should never scandalize the faithful, for thus he loses
all his labor. Whenever we are going to hear confessions, we must first pray
and have meekness, and then by appropriate discernment and the grace of God
we can gain many for salvation.
3. ON PRAYER-RULES
—What rule do you give a novice, a monk, a schemamonk, and a hieromonk?
I don’t give a rule with numbers. Usually I give the brothers who confess
to me a cell rule, such as the Akathist to the saint of the day, the Paraclesis
to the Theotokos or another saint, and if they are able, a kathisma of the Psalter.
Furthermore, I tell the novices in the monastery to make forty prostrations,
the monks to make a hundred, and for schemamonks I double the rule, because
they have received five talents and have to increase them. How I suffered once
from a prayer-rule! After I was tonsured a monk, I went to my confessor and
asked him what rule I should do. He told me: “As you are in obedience,
do whatever you can.” But I was not satisfied with this answer and went
a second time and asked him. Then my confessor said to me somewhat sternly,
“Since you’re asking me for a second time, from now on do what you
can’t!’’ For obedience in the monastery and the labor of the
coenobium cover a part of the rule.
—What rule do you give to the sick who cannot make prostrations?
To the old and sick I give a rule according to their strength. If they cannot
labor with their body, I tell them to double their prayer with the Jesus Prayer.
At one time a schemamonk, Nicanor Bitica, lived at Sihastria Monastery. In his
old age he could not make full prostrations, but he made bows from his stool.
After he fell from his bed he could no longer make either bows or the sign of
the Cross; he could only mark the Cross on his chest, and thus he fulfilled
his rule. So everyone should do what he can, with the counsel of his spiritual
father, because “God loves a cheerful giver.”
—A sick woman, after confessing to the Elder, asked him for a rule. He
told her:
The rule for a sick person is the bed of pain. Endure your illness with gratitude,
and you will be saved. As much as you can, say the ‘’Our Father,’’
the Jesus Prayer, the Trisagion, and the Creed, and if you refrain from murmuring
and go regularly to confession, you will soon gain eternal life.
—What rule do you give to laymen, to parents with children, and to young
people who want to get married?
To laymen I give a rule according to their circumstances. For those who have
many children, the most important rule is to raise their children in the fear
of God and to not murder them by abortion or injure them. Those who don’t
have children must give alms if they can; if they are poor, their rule is to
not steal and to attend church. I tell young people to preserve their sobriety
and honor before marriage, and after marriage to have children, as many as God
gives them. I tell them to not have abortions, to not avoid childbearing by
artificial means, to have a good spiritual father they confess to, and to follow
the laws of the Church regarding fasting, temperance, and frugality.
—What penance do you give those who have denied the faith and then repented?
Those who don’t believe in God and don’t go to confession, I don’t
receive either. But if they sincerely repent, I have them first recite the Creed
three times. Then I tell them to venerate in the church, to venerate the holy
icons and the relics of the saints. Afterwards I confess them, give them a rule
according to their strength, and if in the future they love and venerate the
church and obey her laws, I give them permission to have Communion. This depends
on their faith and repentance. If they still have doubts about the faith, I
give them appropriate books to read to strengthen their faith.
4. ON MONASTICISM
—What is the most important work of monasteries and monks?
To pray unceasingly for themselves and for the whole world. To glorify God
always, to teach and console the faithful. In the monastery Martha should obey
Mary, and not the other way around, and live harmoniously with her. If we will
do this, ‘’nothing will destroy our city.’’
—Why have zeal for prayer and good works weakened today, both in the monasteries
and among laypeople?
Because faith has diminished in the whole world. Today every layman and monk
confesses that he cannot pray as they did in the past. Only with great labor
and pains can some good monks and laymen maintain pure prayer day and night.
We others are always surrounded by cares, people, and weaknesses, and when we
pray our minds are scattered and full of thoughts. Consider the three attacks
the Savior passed through when satan tempted him—first by gluttony, second
by pride, and third by unbelief. In each case he conquered by ‘’I
will worship the Lord my God, and Him alone will I serve.’’ Today
there is a great quarrel between “Martha” and “Mary,” over
who has chosen the good part. In the monasteries, as everywhere, Martha dominates
Mary and does not let her pray much, while Mary weeps inconsolably. If we would
put the church and the praise of God first (Mary) and obediences and handiwork
second (Martha), then all our monasteries and churches would be spiritually
reborn and the devil would flee from men. Spiritual progress begins with the
saying: “Lord, help me to see my own sins and not to judge my brother....’’
—What kinds of alms should monks give?
Monks who have something to give must help those in need. I believe that those
who help strangers and their enemies will have the greater reward. But the highest
almsgiving of monks is to be always poor in all material things and to pray
for everyone. As the Psalmist says, “If riches come unto thee, set not
your hearts thereon” (Ps. 61:11). Those who have nothing must feel as if
they had everything, and those who have must live as if they don’t, and
must give to others. The Savior teaches us, make yourselves friends of the mammon
of unrighteousness. That is to say, if I acquire something not proper to our
state, I should give it to the poor in the name of the Lord. Almsgiving certainly
has great power, but for monks poverty and pure prayer are higher.
—A beginning monk said to the Elder: ‘’What should I do, Father?
I can’t endure the obedience I was given.’’
If you can do it but don’t want to, it’s a sin. But if you can’t
do it because it’s too burdensome or you’re sick, it’s not a
sin. Only ask the abbot and he will arrange another obedience for you, as God
will enlighten him. You should do nothing in the monastery without a blessing.
If we live under obedience and the cutting off of our wills, we will surely
be saved.
5. ON HUMILITY
—“What is humility, Father Paisius?” some of his disciples once
asked him.
Humility is the thought and conviction of our heart that we are more sinful
than all men and unworthy of the mercy of God. Reviling ourselves doesn’t
mean that we have true humility. True humility is when someone shames and abuses
us publicly, and we endure it and say, “God ordered that brother to shame
me for my many sins.” We should receive everything as a command of God.
When someone shames you, say that God commanded him to do it. When someone takes
something of yours, God commanded him to take it, in order to make you a monk.
When you are removed from a higher place, God changed your place so that you
would change from your passions and bad habits. This is true humility. And pride
is when we trust in ourselves, in our mind, our strength, when we think we are
more capable than someone else, better, more beautiful, more virtuous, more
pleasing to God. Then it is certain that we are overcome by the ugly sin of
pride, from which may God, who humbled Himself for our salvation, preserve us.
Let us humble ourselves, brethren, because a proud man cannot be saved. Let
us weep for our sins here, so we can rejoice forever in the next life, for after
we leave this world everyone will forget us. Let us not hope in men, but only
in God. A man changes. Today he gives to you and tomorrow he asks from you.
Today he praises you and tomorrow he condemns you. Let us place our hope in
the mercy of God, and we will never go astray.
—A layman asked the Elder for a profitable word, and he told him:
Brother, often animals are wiser than men. Let us learn obedience and patience
from the ox, humility and meekness from the lamb, cleanliness and industry from
the ants and bees. We can learn a lesson for our life from all the animals.
The Elder also added: “It’s best for a man to become a clay vessel,
which is useful to all people and for all kinds of daily work, for food, water,
and so on. But golden vessels are put in safes and locked up in cupboards. For
fear of thieves they are seldom used, maybe only once a year. A clay vessel
has its daily use and service to man. So also is a humble man who does not seek
honors and rank. He remains insignificant even amid men of lower rank, but he
benefits, counsels, and helps everyone, and all seek him out and rejoice with
him. Humility is a great gift to monks and all Christians!”
6. THE BEASTS OF THE APOCALYPSE
—“What can you tell us about the heretics, Father Paisius?”
the monks of Sihastria Monastery once asked him.
The Apocalypse says that two beasts will deceive the world. One will come from
the earth and the other from the sea. The first is the heretics, who say: “Behold,
Christ is here, Christ is there, Christ is anywhere!” The second beast
from the sea is the unbelievers and blasphemers of God. The sea is the world,
while the earth is the Holy Scriptures, from which are born the distorted teachings
of the heretics. The first beast, the heretics, serve the second, namely the
unbelievers. But who knows by what ways and means God will save His Church and
the world! It was He who said: On this rock will I build My Church, and the
gates of hell (that is, the mouths of the heretics) will not prevail against
it (Matt 16:18). Let us pray to our good God and Savior Jesus Christ to deliver
the world and His Church from these two great beasts of perdition.
7. COUNSELS ON TROUBLES
—A sorrowful Christian asked the Elder for a word of comfort, and he said:
Listen, Brother. Without temptations and griefs we cannot be saved. But we
should not be disturbed or grow weak in faith, because now the devil attacks
men more cruelly than in the past, for he knows that he has only a little more
time to rule over the modern world. Let us pray, endure, and remember the words
of the Lord, who said that He will be with us until the end of the ages. We
should not despair in the time of our trials, because God has not abandoned
us. As in the time of the Prophet Elias the Tishbite, when God still had 7000
of His elect who had not bent the knee to Baal, so also today the Lord still
has many elect Christians with strong faith who have not bent their souls to
the service of the passions. God has His just ones, in the villages and the
cities, who glorify Him day and night and live in virginity and temperance,
showing mercy to the poor and widows. But God alone knows their names.
—How can we reconcile those who are quarrelling?
First we should pray for them. Then we should urge them to confess to their
spiritual father, and we should counsel them with the words of the Gospel to
make peace, according to the Lord’s saying: Blessed are the peacemakers,
for they will be called sons of God (Matt. 5:9). As much as we can, we should
strive to make peace, for we are sons of God and bear in ourselves the peace
of the Holy Spirit. Those who are not at peace cannot have Communion. If one
of them dies unreconciled to his enemy, then the living one must go to his grave
for forty days and beg him to forgive him. Of course this is rather difficult.
But we urge the living to make a prostration to the dead with whom they quarreled
in life, and we hope in the mercy of God, that He will forgive them.
8. ON ABORTION
—A certain woman who did not want to have many children went to the Elder
and asked his advice about what she should do. He said to her:
If you avoid having children, you avoid salvation. One child is not enough,
because you might lose it. Many children in a home are usually healthier than
one or two, because they often become spoiled and sickly. Here is fulfilled
the word of the Lord: He which soweth sparingly shall reap also sparingly; and
he which soweth bountifully shall reap also bountifully (II Cor. 9:6).
A little while ago an old woman came to me for confession, and I asked her:
“Sister, how many children do you have?” “Father, I’ve borne
eighteen! God took eight of them when they were little, and the other ten are
the first citizens in the village!” Another woman came from far away, and
I asked her: “How many children do you have, my Christian?” “None,
Father.” “And how many abortions have you had up to now?” “Father,
I’ve had forty.” “Go and confess to the bishop, my child, and
repent while you still have time, because God’s judgment is terrible!”
After denial of the faith, the greatest sin in the world is the murder of babies
by abortion. These two sins quickly bring God’s wrath and punishment upon
men.
—What penance do you give those who have had abortions?
The punishment for abortion and murder in general is life-long repentance.
The penance consists of daily prostrations, fasting until evening every Wednesday
and Friday, complete avoidance of this sin in the future, and the birth and
baptism of other children in place of those killed. Also in such circumstances
they are forbidden to receive Communion for seven years, except in the case
of a pregnant woman, who can receive Communion as a special allowance.
—Certain Christians asked the Elder, ‘’What will happen to the
souls of infants killed by abortion?’’ and he answered with a sigh:
I believe that these infants are martyrs. They will complete the number of
the martyrs in the last times, as the Apocalypse says. In dying through abortion
they receive the baptism of blood, but the Church does not commemorate them
in her prayers in order not to encourage abortions, which for the parents is
an act of infanticide.
9. SPIRITUAL CONCORD
—A disciple asked : ‘’What kind of spiritual tie do you have
with Elder Cleopas?”
In the autumn of 1935 Fr. Cleopas returned from the army and visited me at
Cozancea Skete to receive a blessing. As I was accompanying him a while through
the woods to see him off, I asked him: ‘’Well, now what are you thinking
of doing, Brother Constantine?’’ (For he was not yet a monk.) “Will
you stay at Cozancea or go back to Sihastria?’’
‘’I will go back to Sihastria, Fr. Paisius, where I lived before
for five years, by the graves of my two brothers. I will also have more silence
there....’’
Then we both took off our skoufias [hats], knelt down and made three prostrations,
and I said the prayer: ‘’Lord, bless our vow that we will be together
both in this life and the future one. If I die first, he will be at my head,
and if he dies first, I will be at his head! Amen.’’ Then we embraced
and parted. With my heart I am bound to Fr. Cleopas as much as it is possible
to be in this life....
From The
Orthodox Word, Vol. 28, No. 1 (#162—Jan-Feb, 1992), pp. 15-42. Posted on 6 Dec, 2005 (n.s.).
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